me: stutters out fifteen sentence fragments that no-one can make sense of not even me
me: you know?
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message me feedback: would you prefer to have someone break up with you before Christmas, after Christmas, or after New Years?
- abuse apologist: you can't blame them, they've been thru some rough shit too
- me: oh yeah, why the fuck not, hey, everyone who's had a tough life, here's a free giftcard for torturing me to make yourselves feel better. Don't I at least fucking owe everyone who's had it bad to use me as their emotional punching bag.
- Those who've been having it rough can take their resentment and misery and anger and take it up with their own torturers, and not in turn torture someone who can't even defend themselves, they're fucking cowards and I don't have the time of the day for abusive cowards. Fucking hell yeah I will blame them. If they didn't like having it done to them why the fuck do they think it's okay to do it to me. They can go to hell.
that one friend who knows you better than you: yeah
Anonymous asked:
Maybe you're an authentic lesbian. I don't know okay. I'm just saying, so many lesbians nowadays are just twisting childhood trauma, daddy issues, and trendy politics into a sexual orientation. They will probably marry a man one day. Those are what made me angry. Maybe I got the wrong lesbian though, please prove me wrong.
rugelachs-deactivated20171206 answered:
“maybe I got the wrong lesbian though” yeah at this point I’m just itching to know how you found my blog in the first place and decided to involve me in your little self involved meltdown. was there an extensive selection process? how would you know if another stranger was the “right” lesbian to harass?
fyi it’s a GOOD thing that young women are being encouraged to explore attraction to women and be unashamed - even if some girls currently identifying as lesbians realize in the future that they’re bi or otherwise not a lesbian, it still isn’t bad in any way for them to be encouraged to feel safe, proud and affirmed in their current identity / way they’re processing their desires right now.
messages of “women don’t need men to be happy and fulfilled, if you don’t have relationships with men that is ok” are helping young gay women to stop forcing themselves into uncomfortable situations, and realize that being gay is not limiting/incorrect. other women are able to realize that they are bi, and have equally fulfilling experiences. those things are healing, not a toxic political climate.
“they will probably marry a man one day” - women do exist (including survivors whose comfort level with gender/relationships is affected by trauma) who identify as lesbians and/or are woman exclusive for some time, before realizing they are bi and/or want a relationship with a man. but those women are not props for any debate. they are not proof of the inauthenticity of lesbians. they are individuals making personal choices about relationships, which can change for various reasons without that change being indicative of a Toxic Lesbian Conspiracy that was trapping them in those former choices. that assumption is totally undermining of their humanity/autonomy.
it’s fine to go through a period of time, however long or short, where you only want to be with women and identify strongly with that. it’s fine if that changes, and fine if that ends up being your whole life. whatever reasons produce those realities are legitimate. if someone feels happy/safe with only other women right now, why scorn or interrogate them because there’s “a chance they’ll change their mind later?” so what? many things change. they’re allowed the life they want to live right now.
“some people who aren’t lesbians thought they were at one point” doesn’t negate the existence of lesbians - lived experience is complex. there are women who with women their whole life, women who are with both women and men, women whose identities remain the same their whole life, and women whose identities shift over the years. it isn’t a zero sum game that means any of those identities/lives/feelings/choices are “unreal”.
it’s ironic that you bring up how frequently women are traumatized and abused by men in their families as a piece of evidence for your mess of a “side”, when that is literally one of the big reasons why lesbian and bi women need that affirming climate / encouragement of their relationships with other women, and are benefited, emotionally rescued and healed even, by rhetoric that helps them realize that they don’t need to be trapped or bound to a social obligation to men.
what it comes down to is whether you like it or not, women are living lives that fit the word “lesbian” and are happy in them. you saying they aren’t real doesn’t make them *poof* disappear. I am one of those women, and I don’t have to prove it to you. you’re the one invading my time and my personal life. having the audacity to tell me my love for my partner(s) is probably fake and performative when you’ve never met us. imagine if someone came up to you and your committed s.o and told you it was “just for politics?” you wouldn’t feel like you owed them anything either, besides maybe a fist in the face. but by all means crash my lesbian commitment ceremony a few years down the road and eat that humble pie when you realize you won’t ever have love the way I do. you’re too spiteful and destructive for that.
this man next to me is on the phone and he went “are you fucking kidding me right now? are you serious?” then he got up and stood next to a cactus and went “im by my favorite cactus right now, and you’re disrespecting me like this?”
somebody pls message me
message me!
IF! ALL! YOU! WANNA! DO! IS! GOSSIP! DON’T! TALK! TO! ME!
4/20 was pretty fun!
(:
paleinthenight